Waking up because the bed of your neighbours makes to much noise doing their playtime…. I hope this wont happen every morning..
So i wanted to make a blog but i think i’ll just keep it by my tumblr for now.
Still a week and a few days and i can get in my appartement!! It will be painted and just ready to get in and i can start living on my own. It’s a bit scary but also very cool. It will be a big step for me and i hope i’ll get much more independent than.
But i also feel very bad.. My grandparents are amazing and they came to help painting but my granddad almost fell down and now his knees hurts a lot. He still have problems with it. And my oncle had to repaint their parts because it wasn’t so pretty… It really breaks my heart to hear such things. It was true.. But they did it for me, they did their best and now they have pain. It really breaks my heart and i have it very difficult with it. They always say i have to get ‘stronger’ but my grandparents mean everything to me and it just hurts a lot. I love them with all my heart and i am happy they came to help. I hope they will forgive me, eventhought they aren’t mad or anything, i just hope they know that i love them extreemly much.
Happiness. It’s the key of life and something everyone deserves. I’m pretty happy the last couple of months, i felt i changed in a positive way, and i am really glad of that. The biggest part of my happiness is my family. My family means everything to me and i love them extreemly much. They never make me feel bad and are always there for me. They want the best for me and i can’t imagine having a better family than i have now. I have an amazing band with my grandparents, i also have with my parents and aunt and oncle, but with my grandparents it’s different. Is it because they are older and i know we have less time together? I don’t know but everytime i have to say goodbye from them it feels bad. Where i also think about sometimes is that i really hope they will still be here when i will find someone, and maybe will marry and get children.. I don’t see those things happen now but i hope they will still be here when it all happens. I want them to see that everything will be alright. I want them to be proud of me. But i just love my family so much. They mean everything for me and i really hope that when the time comes i have to say goodbye to my grandparents, or someone else, i will have someone on my side. Someone who will pull me tru this because it will be the hardest thing i will have to deal with. If someone ever needs me, i’ll try everything to be there for them, because i know how it feels when you need someone but nobody can be there for you…
But point is, my family means everything to me <3
I think i’ll start a blog again when i’m in my appartment. Than i have a lot of time again for my own and i just liked it too. Making pictures and rambling. Yes, i think i will make a blog soon again :D I can’t wait!
Boe! Im in the mood to write about some things so here we go! :)
Related to my previous post;
I wish i was still so brave when i wrote that text down. Now i feel pain again. I met 2 friends today and they were everything you’re not. I compared them with you and i almost broke down in tears. I’m so afraid i will compare everyone with you, and noone can compare to you. I’m afraid that if a guy ever will get interested in me i’ll compare him with you. And he wouldn’t pass.. truth is i compare every guy with you, every tall guy that comes in our store makes me brake down in tears..
And the worst thing of all, my friend start singing ‘a lalala long’.. On that moment i had to fight to keep my tears inside and i was happy i could drive alone in my car back home.
I wish i was already in my appartment, on my own, so i could cry as much as i wanted with noone around me. So i could try to build me up again. I thought it would be easier if i kept telling me the things you told me that hurted me, but still i miss us…